We had been getting along great. I actually had begun to trust him. Big mistake on my part, I know. We had somewhat of a routine. M would come over once or twice a week, play with us, feed P whatever I cooked for him, give him a bath. We would all watch a movie, then both of us would put P to bed. Then M would go home. P really seemed to enjoy this routine.
P & I went on vacation in June, we were gone for a week. When we came back M wanted to see him. I asked if he could come see him the next day, and that didn't work for him. He just likes to mess with me. So we agreed on Monday. I took P to see M, because M didn't want to come to our place. Whatever. We stayed for maybe 2 hours, at which point M kept remarking that P looked tired, hinting for us to leave. We left.
It has been TWO weeks since M has seen P. By his choice. I worked a lot this past week, and M is not allowed to take P by himself. He thinks this is why I have never sued for child support, and that does have something to do with it. Deep down I am afraid he would sue for custody if I went for child support, and I can't let that happen. I don't trust him with
However, I had Thursday off. I told him that I would sacrifice my only day off so that he could come see P, or we would come see him. He said he would come to us. He got off work at 2:30, at which time I called to make sure he was still coming. Yes, he says, I'm going home to take a shower and I will be there. I call him once again at 5:00 and he says he was sitting down for a minute and then he'd be here. I do have a couch at my place, for the record. He never showed up. I had told P that his daddy was coming over. This really struck a nerve with me. I don't tell P in advance unless I talk to M right before he is heading over.
This broke my heart. I am supposed to protect him. I am the one he can trust, the one who always keeps her promises. I lied to my baby. I didn't mean to, I didn't know his dad wasn't going to show up, but I can't explain that to him. Never again will I tell P that daddy is coming over, because what little trust I had with M is now completely gone.
He texted my phone at 7:30... all it said was "Ughh I fell asleep, sorry." I didn't respond. I know M is a pathological liar, and I know whether he is lying pretty much all the time, even from a text. Sometimes he doesn't even know he's lying (he belives his own lies), but this time he did. I had texted his mom at 5:30 to see if he was still there. The next morning she texted me back and said "He went out with his brother to the sunset concert last night."
Whoa, now, wait a minute! Not only did he ditch his son, but he lied to me about it when he could have just said from the beginning that he wasn't coming. That he didn't care that he hadn't seen P for weeks. I let him know that I knew what he really did, and told him that I would not allow him to break our sons heart the way he broke mine. His response? "Who told you."
I am so sick of being the good guy. I am sick of not being able to say what I feel, to let everyone know what is happening. I have another blog, yes, but I will not say negative things about M on there. He is my son's father and I will not do that, but I feel if I do it here on my "secret blog" that it's somewhat of a compromise. He can lead his family and friends to think that he is a wonderful father and that I keep P from him too much, and I can tell the world what's really going on.
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